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2002 - 2003 Stats

Interesting bits from 2002-03

24-08-02

The Thoughts of Chairman Bill

Welcome to the Showground for a new season, hopefully we will have something for you to shout about. I would like to thank our fans for their support last season during a difficult time and hope to see you all again this term. I appreciate the financial help and support you provide.

I would also like to thank the people who have helped with ground improvements and all the help in other ways. John Hughes and David Sharples have been working hard on the playing side and a number of new players have been signed. This year we have a youth team so we are hopeful that players can progress through into the first team, and I am sure you will support them.
Finally thanks to you all for the support and enjoy the game.

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If you thought that 2001/02 was a bad season for us, then look at this the record of this bunch of clowns from the Notts. Alliance 2nd Division.

P W D L F A Pts
PINXTON N.E. 27 2 1 24 24 148 7

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REMEMBER WHEN

Harwood played Wigan Athletic in the Northern Premier League in September ’72. the Robins drew 0-0 which followed a 3-0 win at Barrow the previous weekend. The Chairman Derrick Keighley was bemoaning the previous home gate of 319 against Clitheroe in the FA Cup which was the lowest of the season. Other teams competing in the NPL that season included Boston United, Macclesfield Town, South Shields and South Liverpool.
The side that day was:

Blacklaw, Jackson, Bright, Redhead, Proctor, Cheetham, Grundy, Kershaw, Kenyon, Morris, Hope. Sub. Cocks.

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If you think that we had a bad record last season, take a look at this from the Devon League.

  P W D L F A Pts
BUCKFASTLEIGH 38 2 1 35 32 170 4*

*3 points deducted

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So you think that you know the rules

With ex-non-league Ref. John Lilly

Picture this, Town have a penalty. John Eastham steps up and whacks the ball against the post. It rebounds to him and he buries it into the back of the net. Goal?

Answer after the Cup features. - Click here for Answer

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31-08-02

(home to Winterton Rangers F.A. Cup)

REMEMBER WHEN


Harwood were drawn away to Seaham Red Star in the F.A. Cup two years ago. It was a time when you had to queue up for hours to get petrol and we weren’t sure if the coach that we hired would be able to make the journey. It could, so we set off at about 10.00 in glorious sunshine with every spare seat taken by supporters who anticipated a good cup run. The trip was excellent and the scenery magnificent as we made our way up the M.6 and across North Yorkshire. It was amazing to see all the petrol stations with plenty of fuel and no queues at all! We stopped off at a really posh hotel just outside of Bishop Auckland where the players enjoyed a ‘slap up’ breakfast of bacon, sausage, black pudding, eggs, potato cake, fried bread, mushrooms, tomatoes, sautéed potatoes, kippers, toast and marmalade, crusty rolls, tea and coffee-you can’t beat a good pre-match meal! We arrived at the ground about an hour before kick-off so some of us decided to find somewhere to get a bite to eat (we didn’t have the breakfast!0 We found a shop selling spud pies for only 50p and after tucking in we went to the clubhouse where we were welcomed with open arms and were invited back for free food after the game. Oh yes, the game!!! We started off badly and got worse, losing 7-0 to a side that were of a similar standard to us. It was a complete shambles and the players should have been ashamed, although on the journey home, the majority of them didn’t seem too bothered.

Some of those players are still with the club so I hope they get their fingers out today as this game is a massive one for Great Harwood Town Football Club.

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Still with the F.A. Cup, this time the Scottish variety,

ARBROATH 36 BON ACCORD 0

1st Round September 12th 1885

Well, well, well, there’s more to this than meets the eye! I know that it’s not the English F.A. Cup but it’s worth having a look at it anyway.
The invitation to play in the competition went out to the Orion Cricket Club instead of Orion F.C., but the former decided to play the game anyway, changing their name to Bon Accord. They turned up without any kit or boots. The Arbroath keeper did not touch the ball with hand or foot for the entire game, and indeed, spent most of the match sheltering under an umbrella, smoking his pipe! Arbroath winger Petrie scored a British record of 13 goals and all of his outfield colleagues managed to get on the score sheet and Referee David Stormont disallowed 7 goals for offside.
It wouldn’t surprise me to find out that the goalposts were a couple of coats, though the history books don’t mention that!

And STILL with the Cup!

Oh Happy days!

Remember when your Granny used to tell you about the good old days when you could leave your door open when you went to the shops?
What she didn’t tell you is that you still got burgled but the most valuable thing which they got away with were a couple of cardboard boxes, opened up and used as carpet. They were happy days when you were transported to Australia for dropping litter and given life in prison for answering your father back, but at least there wasn’t much crime-or was there?
In 1895, the F.A. Cup holders Aston Villa, decided to exhibit the trophy in the shop window of a football and football boot manufacturer in Newton Row in Birmingham, and some rascal or rascals promptly nicked it, and to this day, the trophy has never been located. A replica was made by copying one of the small souvenir cups which were presented to Wanderers players after they had won the cup two years earlier. After the dreadful crime, a £10 reward was offered for the return of the cup but there were no takers, which was quite surprising considering that this amount of money could buy a mansion, a luxury liner and the entire England team. Aston Villa were fined £25 which just about paid for a new trophy to be made. The first winners of the replacement were Sheffield Wednesday and this trophy was used until 1910 when Newcastle United won it. It was then decided to withdraw the trophy from competition because the design had been copied without permission, so was born the F.A. Cup as we know it today.

And even MORE!

PRESTON NORTH END 26 HYDE 0

F.A. Cup 1st round 1887

Hyde played their one and only F.A. Cup tie against the mighty Preston North End two years after being formed although they continued to play until 1917. They re-formed in 1919 as Hyde United and played in further F.A. Cup ties under that name.
The famous game was played during Preston’s incredible run of 42 consecutive wins, the season before the Football League began. The Lilywhites had scored only 4 goals in the opening 30 minutes and Hyde must have had visions of an epic 2nd half comeback, but 8 more goals before half time, which included 6 in 7 minutes, left the visitors with a mountain to climb! Hyde were in fact up against it when they lost a player to injury with the score at only 3-0.
Top scorer was Jimmy Ross with 8 goals, and the huge total was helped along by the referee who played half an hours extra time, which is almost as much as is played at Old Trafford these days if United aren’t winning!
We were going to have a lovely, super, smashing article about the amazing Stocksbridge Park Steelers 17 Oldham Town 1 game, but despite writing to both clubs, and even enclosing a stamped address envelope, I have yet to receive a reply from either club-THANKS LADS!! Also, before the season started I wrote to every club in the N.W.C.L. Division Two asking for pen pictures and the only club to reply was….MANCHESTER CITY! My letter addressed to Maine Road FC was obviously delivered to the wrong club! (Not all postmen are as clever as yours truly). Three cheers to City and three boos to the NWC League clubs.

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There’s no end to this F.A. Cup ‘trivia’

Flippin’ ‘eck!

What about this for a sequence of cup draws,

F.A. CUP 3RD ROUND 1956
LEEDS UNITED 1 CARDIFF CITY 2

F.A. CUP 3RD ROUND 1957
LEEDS UNITED 1 CARDIFF CITY 2

F.A. CUP 3RD ROUND 1958
LEEDS UNITED 1 CARDIFF CITY 2!!!

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After our unlucky FA Cup exit, 2-0 at Harrogate Town on September 28th,

WHAT THE MEDIA SAID

‘CUP MINNOWS GO DOWN WITH A FIGHT’ –Lancashire Evening Telegraph
*
‘UNLUCKY GREAT HARWOOD BOW OUT OF CUP’ –Radio Lancashire
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‘TOWN EASE INTO NEXT ROUND’ –Harrogate Daily Echo
*
‘LADY LUCK WITH THE YORKIES’ –Non League Newspaper
*
‘THREE IN A BED ROMPS SHOCK THE SHOWGROUND!’ –News of the World

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Ref’s teaser, answer - Return to question

No goal. He should have jumped out of the way and let a team mate put the rebound in. If the ‘keeper had managed to get a touch to the ball before it came back to Eastie, then it would have counted.

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If you thought that last season was a bad one for us, take a look at this from the Midland Combination Division Two

  P W D L F A Pts
BIRMINGHAM UNITED 30 1 2 27 30 157 5

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14-09-02

REMEMBER WHEN


Saturday 28th February 1992 when the Robins took on St Helens at the Showground and won 1-0 thanks to a goal by that Great Harwood legend Paul Baker. At the time, Harwood were the undisputed kings of non-league football in the area. The previous season had seen us win the NWCL 2nd Division and reach the 6th round of the FA Vase before losing to Littlehampton Town. This season saw us continue in the same vein, top of the 1st Division with two games to play, and an ATS Trophy semi-final against Blackpool Rovers coming up during the week.

The team that day was:

John Little
Neil Rowbotham Paul Rigby
Paul Whalley Martin Eatough Neil Baron
David Sharples Mark Heyes
Lee Rogerson Peter Smith Paul Baker

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If you thought that we bad a bad season, then look at this. We’ve found a real classic for you this week from the South Midlands League Division Two.

  P W D L F A Pts
SCOT 32 1 0 31 24 204 3

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07-10-02

REMEMBER WHEN

On Saturday 21st August 1193, Harwood opened up the season’s Northern premier League Division One fixtures with a home game against Mossley. It started off very well with a 2-1 victory, Paul baker scoring both goals. This was followed by a terrific 4-1 win at Welsh exiles Caernarfon town with goals from Baker (2), Neil Baron and Paul Whalley. Also in the 1st division that season were Lancaster City, Workington Town, Gretna and Harrogate Town.

The line up that day was:

Gareth Gray
Daryl Adams Michael Crabbe
Simon Westwell Neil Baron Neil Otley
David Sharples Paul Whalley
Clive Dunn Peter Smith Paul Baker

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If you thought that last season was a bad one for us then take a look at this one achieved by this total bunch of wasters from the West Riding 2nd Division, who made us look like Real Madrid!

  P W D L F A Pts
GREEN LANE 22 0 0 22 21 92 0

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WELL, WELL. WELL.

Football hooliganism has started to rear its ugly head again.

In a recent Jewson Eastern League game, a 73 year old ‘nutter’ from Mildenhall attacked a Lowestoft supporter and was promptly arrested and charged with common assault. The reason for the attack was that the Lowestoft supporter was banging a drum, and as everyone knows, all that banging plays havoc with your hearing aid!

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21-10-02

F.A. Cup

Harwood’s five game run in this year’s F.A. Cup competition was their longest for about 30 years but the most amazing tie for many years was between Harrogate Railway and Chester-le-Street. After an astonishing 5-5 draw in Durham, the North Easterners looked to in their way to the next round after going into a 2-0 lead but the Yorkshiremen came back to level after 90 minutes. They then cut loose scoring five times in extra time to set up a home tie with Workington. In the first qualifying round, Harrogate beat Whitley Bay 5-4 so their fans must be amongst the most well entertained in the land.

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If you thought that last season was a bad one for us, then take a look at this bunch of useless footballers from the Screwfix Direct Western League Division One.

  P W D L F A Pts
WARMINSTER TOWN 38 2 3 33 35 140 9


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Flippin’ ‘eck!

Have you wondered why you never see Wayne Rooney of Everton and our very own Chris Heslop on the same pitch together? First we have Wayne scoring a cracking goal against Arsenal on his debut and then a few days later he scores an even better one for Harwood at Cheadle whilst using his pseudonym. No wonder he’s only coming on a ‘sub’ for the Toffees, the poor lad must be worn out with all that dashing between the Showground and Goodison!

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12-11-02

If you thought that last season was a bad one for us then take a look at the one achieved by this total bunch of wasters from the Staffs. County League. After months of research I’ve finally found a team to do this spot justice. Despite the following record, on May 10th in their penultimate game, they only lost 1-0 to middle of the table Holt JCB-Unlucky lads!

  P W D L F A Pts
Gnosall Horns 31 0 0 31 24 195 0


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Flippin’ ‘eck!

After recent games at Colne and Darwen, we’re going to need minders to go to away games, and that’s just to protect us from players and officials! The Colne keeper was after ‘seeing us in the bar’ after the game and it wasn’t to buy us a drink! At Darwen one of the subs DID want to give us a drink-he chucked his cuppa towards our section of the crowd, soaking one of his own supporters! I personally almost had my eye taken out when the Darwen manager spat his dummy out, sending it whizzing past my ear hole!

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23-11-02

After only nine games Nelson have given manager John Bailey the ‘chop’. They’ve won more matches than they’ve lost and have a ‘bagful’ of games in hand on most of the clubs above them so John can count himself very unlucky.

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Just to emphasise how good our attendances have been this season, just look at these recent crowds:

Flixton v Atherton Collieries (local derby) – 18
Oldham Town v Ashton Town – 20
Daisy Hill v Holker Old Boys – 25
Holker Old Boys v Maine Road – 29

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If you thought that last season was a bad one for us then take a look at the one achieved by this total bunch of wasters from the West Midlands League. (Nice name, shame about the team.)

  P W D L F A Pts
Dudley Town 46 3 6 37 42 122 15

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All over the country teams are giving away penalties and scoring own goals in the hope of appearing in one of next year’s programmes. Harwich and Parkeston slipped into top gear with an 8-0 home defeat last Saturday, leaving them with this enviable record:

  P W D L F A Pts
Harwich & Parkeston 17 2 1 14 21 64 7

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26-12-02

Mark Jones, call yourself a secretary? What about this lad from Haxby town of the York League?
Brian Hamilton is 50 years old and was pressed into playing recently due to a player crisis. He responded by scoring the only goal of the game but he didn’t stop there. Haxby’s goalkeeper was sent off in the last minute for a professional foul, Brian went in goal and promptly saved the spot kick!

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If you thought that last season was a bad one for us then take a look at the one achieved by these comedians from the West Midlands League.

  P W D L F A Pts
Wallsall Wood Reserves 30 1 2 27 21 143 5


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Top 10

Why I was late home from football

10) Bill Holden laid on free drinks at the Sportsman and I felt it impolite to refuse the invitation.
9) I got hit by a wayward shot from one of our forwards and had concussion.
8) Take her home a fish and chip supper and say that there was a big queue at the Chippy.
7) The car broke down (you’ll need to put some motor oil on your hands to make this convincing)
6) The Ref. thought that we were Man United as we were playing in red and were so good, and he played an hours injury time because we were losing.
5) The away team went to the wrong ground and the kick-off was delayed.
4) The floodlights failed and I couldn’t find my way out of the ground.
3) There was a massive crowd and the police delayed the kick-off until everyone was in the ground.
2) It was a Cup match and there was extra time.
1) GIVE HER NO EXCUSE, JUST BUY HER A BIG BUNCH OF FLOWERS AND TELL HER THAT SHE’S PRETTY, EVEN THOUGH SHE’S GOT A FACE LIKE A BAG OF WHELKS!

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18-01-03

If you thought that last season was a bad one for us then take a look at the one achieved by this total bunch of wasters from the Northampton Sunday League.

  P W D L F A Pts
Royals 22 0 0 22 20 145 0

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* In the recent Stone Dominoes programme it was stated that ‘In their last six away games Great Harwood have only lost twice and only conceded six goals, thus making them a hard nut to crack.’ – Not too hard though, we lost 4-0!

* Radcliffe Borough fans were treated to an amazing game recently when the home side were 4-2 down to high-flying Spennymoor with only 15 minutes to play. Borough then scored five quick goals to run out 7-4 winners against a side who had not only lost just twice in the league but had conceded just seven goals in twelve games. Wonder if any Radcliffe fans left early after Spennymoor’s 4th goal?

* Our useless teams spot is proving very popular amongst teams the length and breadth of the country. Oldham Town look as if they’re going to blow their chances when they followed up their first league win of the season with a 4-0 cup victory. In the Devon County League, bottom of the table Crediton United were well on course for inclusion in one of next year’s programmes, when they produced a shock 2-1 win to leave them with a record of: P 16 W 1 D 1 L14 F 7 A 67 PTS 4. In the West Riding League Keighley Phoenix carried on the good work with a 7-1 home defeat to leave them pointless after 8 games.

* Congratulations to former Robins boss Dennis Underwood on his recent appointment as manager of Nelson. If John Bailey’s record as the Blues boss got him the sack, then Dennis really has his work cut out to please the Chairman. Good luck Dennis, I think you’ll need it!

* Talking of Nelson, their supporters must surely be the most loyal in the NWCL Division Two. Their two recent visits to the Showground have seen superb followings, especially for the cup match where the Blues fans outnumbered the Robins supporters by around three to one. The thing that struck me most was that many of them sported the club’s colours, where as red and white scarves are rarely seen at Harwood. Come on you Robins’ fans, let’s see some scarves at the next home game!

* With neighbours Nelson and Colne both parting with their managers recently, it makes you realise what a good job is being done here at the Showground by John and Dave. It’s a pretty thankless job at this level and it certainly needs a manager and an assistant. For the most part we’ve been playing good football and if we can keep the managerial and playing teams together for the next couple of years then we’ll be going onwards and upwards.

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Flippin’ ‘eck!

What was the most amazing game last season? No contest!

It was the F.A. Vase 1st round tie between Washington Nissan and Billingham Synthonia. Despite the home side having two players score hat-tricks, Billingham came out on top 9-7 after extra time! Pity the attendance was only 64 for a ‘derby’ to beat all ‘derbies’.

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If you thought that last season was a bad one for us then take a look at the one achieved by this total bunch of useless footballers from the Crewe Sunday League. Time for a change of keeper perhaps?

  P W D L F A Pts
PERMANENT WAY 18 0 0 18 13 229 0

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 All over the country teams are giving away penalties and scoring own goals in the hope of appearing in one of next years programmes. Great Harwood Town of the North West Counties League Division Two have had a run of results during January which is worthy of any of our teams in this spot. 0-5, 0-3, 0-4.

GET YOUR FINGERS OUT LADS, APPEARINNG ON THIS PAGE IS AS LOW AS YOU CAN GET!

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Flippin’ ‘eck!

*Talk about Déjà vu. In the last couple of weeks, Rovers played bottom of the league West Ham, who won and moved off the foot of the table. Great Harwood played bottom of the table side Leek who also moved up a place after winning. The following week Harwood played the new side at the bottom, Oldham, in the Cup. A last minute goal ensured a 2-2 draw and with no further goals it was penalties and a defeat for our heroes. Rovers then played the new team at the bottom, Sunderland, in the Cup. A last minute goal meant 2-2 and extra time, no more goals and then a penalty defeat!

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So you think that you know the rules

with ex-non-league Ref. John Lilley

Picture this, Town have a throw-in and Ray Booth chucks it towards Bobby in goal. The unfortunate keeper slips and misses the ball which rolls towards the goals line. Glen Smith runs back and dives full length to palm the ball around the post and out of play.

You’re the Ref, what decision would you give?

Answer further on. Or go to answer now

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Meet the Ref. 08-02-03

I’ve had the referee’s association on the ‘phone, complaining about the ‘write-ups’. It’s not that they don’t like the profiles, it’s just that some of the chaps have dodgy eyesight and they’d appreciate larger print so here goes:
Today we’d like to give a great welcome to Mr. M.J. Bridges, one of, if not THE best referees in the N.W.C.L. and a man who is surely destined for higher things. Mr. Bridges is not only (what, still not big enough?) One of the fittest referees in the business, but he’s also one of the most handsome and wouldn’t look out of place in a James Bond movie. Always ready to talk to the players instead of brandishing cards ‘willy-nilly’, he’s the sort (what, bigger?) of referee who youngsters should look up to. He’s stern but fair, and if you play the game, you’ll have no problems with him. In his spare time (what do mean the ref. still can’t make out the words?) he helps out at the local old-folks home and is also kind to animals. Enjoy your (don’t tell me, bigger?) visit to the Showground and let’s hope that we’ll be seeing plenty more of you before the season’s end.

Today’s referee,
Mr. M.J. Bridges

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Ref’s teaser, answer If you got this correct you must be a Ref.

The correct decision would be to book the player for deliberate hand ball and award a corner. He wouldn’t be sent off as he didn’t prevent a goal. If he’d let the ball go into the net, the decision would have been a corner as you can’t score direct from a throw-in. - return to question

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12-04-03

* Norton’s recent game against Stone Dominoes attracted a tremendous crowd of 163 which was just two short of the ground record. They saw a great game and despite the home side being dead and buried at 0-4 after only 54 minutes, United hit back with three goals in 18 minutes. With 15 minutes of the game left. A draw looked on the cards but the Champions elect held on for three more precious points.

* After their incredible ‘crowd’ of 14 against Norton a couple of weeks ago, Oldham Town must have been fearing the worst when they faced the Robins last week, but thanks to another tremendous following of Harwood fans, not only did Oldham avoid another embarrassing turn out, they actually recorded their highest league attendance of the season.

* Talking of attendances, although Harwood’s last crowd of 86 against Chadderton was slightly down on the season’s average, it still exceeded the ones recorded at promotion chasing Bacup, Stone and Maine Road-Well done Robins’ fans.
* Paul Mitchell has been dismissed as manager of Unibond side Worksop Town despite his tremendous record of having led the side to top five finishes in four of the last five seasons and a current placing of 5th in the Premier League.

* Over 1,000 spectators saw our old adversaries Brigg Town make it through to the F.A. Vase final against Sudbury Town when they defeated Oadby Town 3-1 on aggregate in the semi-final 2nd lag last week.

* Southall are facing expulsion from the Combined Counties League after another troublesome game recently when the Referee had to abandon the game after being surrounded by irate players. The home contingent were adamant that a Sandhurst player should have been dismissed for a crude challenge.

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Flippin’ ‘eck!

*How on earth does a certain local player-manager ever stay on the pitch for 90 minutes when he spends so much time abusing the officials. If we didn’t have officials, the games involving his side would develop into a free-for-all after about five minutes.

* Champions-elect Stone Dominoes had a narrow escape on Tuesday evening. In a game which they would expect to win comfortably, against lowly Leek CSOB, an 87th minute equaliser form Harper looked to have secured a point for the visitors before a last minute winner by Nicklin saw the Dominoes take another three points on their inevitable road to the Championship. Not only are the Staffordshire side the best team that we have played(both games), they have been the most consistent and the ‘cleanest’ with just a handful of bookings and no sending offs this season-Well done from everyone at the Showground.

* Who saw the last game here at the Showground? Chris Heslop was substituted towards the end and five minutes later was spotted getting into a helicopter on the adjacent playing fields. Just a few hours later, who comes on as a substitute for England in Lichtenstein? Wayne(Heslop)Rooney. What a player! No wonder David Moyes is worried about the young fella ‘burning himself out’!

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Editor’s Comment

To all players and officials; could you please stop moaning at the officials? In recent weeks we’ve witnessed disgraceful scenes at Darwen and Oldham. The officials are there to see fair play as they see it. Sure they make mistakes, just as every single person who’s reading this does. Most of the referees and their assistants in this league do a tremendous job and give correct decisions in the huge majority of cases so could we please all get off their backs. The last two games we’ve played have produced just two bookings thanks to some good sportsmanship by the teams and some excellent refereeing, especially at Daisy Hill when Matt was brought down by the keeper when bearing down on goal. Matt’s electric pace meant that he got to the ball before the keeper who crashed into him. A total accident but many refs would have shown the home custodian the red card. A yellow was quite sufficient-well done ref.

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Flippin’ cheek!

The Blackburn and Darwen Robins decided to go to the recent game at Ashton on the bus. One by one we bought our tickets.
“Three pounds please, three pounds please," etc. etc. said the lady behind the counter at the bus depot, until Fat Dave strolled up.
“Six pounds please.”
“What do you mean six pounds? The others were only charged three pounds.” Protested Dave.
“Listen here Billy Bunter, you’ll be sitting on two seats, SO YOU’RE PAYING FOR TWO SEATS!”

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Old goats making comebacks

Will young Bill Holden be making a comeback on the football field? Dave Draper has just turned out for Midland Combination League Leamington, twenty years after his last appearance for the now defunct A. P. Leamington, who were one of the top non-league teams in the country at the time. Doncaster Chairman John Ryan was due to appear as a substitute in Saturday’s game against Hereford, at the age of 52! From all accounts Bill used to be a half decent player and was set for a glittering professional career before the outbreak of the First World War!

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Where was the missing player?


Where was ‘One-Punch’ Baron when we needed him at Oldham? All hell let loose in the second half and Greeny was given a bashing on the pitch by an Oldham player(THUG!). Neil has enrolled on a flower arranging course at the local college so unfortunately he’s unavailable on Tuesday evenings.

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You thought that we were keen!

Earlier on in the season, I went to the Celtic-Rovers game in the UEFA Cup. I couldn’t get a ticket for the away end but a Scottish mate got hold of one for me. In the ground there was a guy decked out in all green and white sat next to me but at the other side of him was what must have been the only empty seat in the ground.
“Who should be sat there?” I asked.
“Oh, that’s the wife’s seat but she’s dead now.”
“Very sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you have given her ticket to one of your relatives or friends?” I asked.
“No, they’re all at the funeral!” Replied the loving husband.

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If you thought that we were useless last season, then take a look at the record achieved by this total bunch of wasters from the Stagecoach Ayrshire League.

  P W D L F A Pts
Lugar Boswell Thistle 18 0 0 18 10 66 0

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With the season almost at an end, the frenzy to be featured in one of next year’s programmes has reached fever pitch. Teams are scoring own goals and giving away needless penalties and Abergavenny Thursdays are leading the way. The Welshmen are desperate to be included and a recent 6-1 home defeat left them with this enviable record.

  P W D L F A Pts
Abergavenny Thursdays 29 0 2 27 32 160 2

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Ex-Harwood starlet Rizwan Khan, who moved to Castleton Gabriels earlier in the season, proved to be the top man in last Saturday’s tremendous 6-0 home win over Darwen. Riz scored a brace and is full of confidence at the moment. Gabriels have had some fine results lately including a 0-0 draw on Monday at home to Nelson, and a 1-0 win at Padiham last week.

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Talking of Nelson, what a surprise that they sacked ex-Harwood boss Denis Underwood a couple of weeks ago-I THINK NOT!
John Bailey got the boot after doing a great job for Nelson when they’d lost only two of their first nine games and Denis carried on the good work leading them to a long unbeaten run in the league.
The club are currently ‘struggling’ in 6th place!!

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Thank goodness Bill Holden has a bit more patience than his Nelson counterpart. Our management duo have worked all the hours God sends to turn the fortunes of the Robins around. After years of sliding down the leagues, we at last have great optimism for the future thanks to John and Dave-Well done lads.

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Top10

Chants & songs from the ‘derby game at Darwen

10) After watching another aimless punt forward by a Darwen player-
“Oldham, it’s just like watching Oldham, it’s just like watching Oldham, it’s just like watching Oldham.

9) “Same old Wilkesy, always moaning.”

8) To the tune of Lily the Pink by the Scaffold-
“Well Chrissy Heslop, he has the best shot, and he’s always scoring go-ho-holes, and so they gave him medicinal compound, and now he scorrrrrrrrres them with his B*lls.”

7) After watching Harwood’s third goal before half time-
“Brazil, it’s just like watching Brazil, it’s just like watching Brazil, it’s just like watching Brazil.”
6) “We yell, we yell, and when we yell we yell like ‘ell and this is what we yell, one four, two four, who the ‘ell are we for? R-O-B-I-N-S, ROBINS!”

5) After a Darwen shot goes over the bar, out of the ground, and down the third lane of the Motorway-
“Are you Oldham in disguise? Are you Oldham in disguise?”

4) To the tune of Lee Marvin’s Wandering Star-
“I was bo-orn under the Pop-Side stand, I was bo-orn under the Pop-Side stand, Bobby is the keeper, Greeny at full back, Ryan is the skipper and there’s Easty in attack. I was bo-orn under the Pop-Side stand, the Pop-Side, Pop-Side stand.”

3) “Same old Harwood, always winning, same old Harwood, always winning.”

2) After another mazy run by Chris Heslop-
“Two Wayne Rooneys, there’s only two Wayne Rooneys, two Way-hane Rooooneys, there’s only two Wayne Rooneys.”

1) After Wilkes is once more banished to the stands-
“Sing when you’re swearing, you only sing when you’re swearing, sing when you’re swea-a-a-aring, you only sing when you’re swearing.”

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28-04-03

If you thought that last season was a bad one for us then take a look at the one achieved by this total bunch of wasters from the Reading League Division One.

  P W D L F A Pts
Woodcote / SR Reserves 18 0 0 18 12 110 0

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With the season coming to a close, the own goals and penalties are flying in as teams fight to be included in next years programmes. Bugbrooke St. Michaels of the United Counties League lost 11-1 on Saturday and a tremendous 10-0 home defeat by Bilston left Walsall Wood Reserves without a win in 31 West Midlands Division One North games.

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The Combined Counties League is something akin to the NWCL 2nd Division, the difference being AFC Wimbledon who drew 2,800 spectators to their latest home game when they recorded their 8th straight win. The three points took the Dons to 105 points but it seems highly unlikely that they will gain promotion as they lie in 3rd place with only two games to go.

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Harwood were knocked out of the Marsden Trophy by Southport, who incredibly were relegated on Saturday. Winsford showed us the door in the FA Vase and have already gone down. Oldham knocked us out of the Division Two Trophy and look as though they’re going to finish next to bottom!

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IT’S JUST LIKE WATCHING BRAZIL

This season has been the best for years here at the Showground. We’ve got a group of players here who are a match for anyone at this level and if the management and players stick together, then who knows what lies ahead next season. Promotion? FA Vase glory? FA Cup 1st Round? Congratulations to you all for this season and let’s carry on the good work come August.

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28-04-03

ROBINS SONG SHEET

Sung to the tune of Men of Harlech

‘David Sharples always running’

Johnny Eastham always scoring’

‘Can’t you hear the Pop-Side roaring’

‘Hughsey is our king’

   
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